today was the first monday in a while it didn't rain. That was good. it is cold enough here tonight to have a fire though...which is also nice. I like having fires.
Brian and I both are not feeling well. I assume we picked something up on the last trip to the hospital. He's tired and has cold symptoms, I have a low grade fever and a very sore throat.
I found myself looking around tonight and being concerned about things being done when I am gone. Right now, I can run around and do the things that got overlooked or forgotten, but I won't be here to do that soon, and the stress I feel is tremendous. I am feeling very uptight about being away.
to make things worse, I don't really feel like all 4 of us are quite on the same page yet on priorities. I hope we get there soon, or I'll be driving back and forth from Hershey worried about things in both places wearing myself out and that won't do anyone any good.
I don't think people realize the strain that caregivers are really under. And I feel additional stress because I do not like to be away from home.
Even doctor's are clueless....I remember once about 1/2 through Brian's first treatments, his oncologist suggested I take a few books and get a hotel room at the beach for a few days. Gee, what a fabulous idea,....but she was totally clueless as to the financing strain and the inability of spare time and funds to just take off like that. It never ceases to amaze me how smart people are just that stupid sometimes.
tomorrow I have to get a couple of landscaping ties to put around the dog pen....we dog tested it to day and identified a few places where Wubbie will no doubt try and get out. I think a landscaping ties will address that issue and it will be one more thing off my "list"
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