ubber frustration

so I have to do auctions for this month's travel expenses..(gosh wouldnt it be nice if it were to bali and not philadephia to see an oncologist?)
so I am trying to figure out what goes to the chopping block when I get a phone call  from Dr. Nasta's office telling me they do not accept any longer the medicaid plan we just had to switch to...

so now I have an oncologist locally who only accepts plan 1 and a specialist who won't accept plan 1....
worst possible nightmare right now...
they were just snitty on the phone with the if we dont switch then we'll be expected to pay the full bill....even if we do switch it takes a month, so that leaves us the the visit on the 18th not covered...really sucks this big mess...

I am not dealing with it on a friday..I know better and I want to pretend I am having a nice weekend...monday will be here soon enough for this.

It's hard as a parent to decide what choices are best for your kids. And when one gets sick, it is even harder.

I am forcing Brian to start to take over responsibility for his health. I am sure to some this has been  a long time coming, but to us, this is a very difficult step. In part because he is not well....In part because he has physical and mental issues that make this a difficult road...but watching him these last few months, I can see how he can and NEEDS to step up a bit. Not everything...Not even the important things....just the everyday dr. visits...dentist visits...

I am giving him a little tough love right now....because I see him leaning more and more on me, and he has assumed it can continue. Even if he doesn't realize it.

So I am going to pursue my dreams for bit..still watching closely but forcing independence a bit..when and where I can.

I forced him last week to take the bus to walmart and buy a new toilet seat that he broke because he kept dropping it down after being asked not to....a bus he talked about for 6 months checking out....and the minute he left...knowing he had to spend what little bit of money he had left over from Christmas..I felt horrible...but it passed...and he took the bus and got the toilet seat and he discovered the world did not end and he could do it. So did I.

it's all good...it's just challenging. Maybe the baby bird will never be able to leave the nest, and that is fine, but he needs to feel better and he needs to be a little independent regardless of his health issues.

new schedule with a boatload of new complications...

well the new medical assist plan Brian had to enroll in is causing complications already...I have to get referrals for every oncology visit now...and a quick look at the acceptable pharacuetical drugs allowed concerns me greatly...there was no neulasta or neupogen on the list at all.
I can deal with the paperwork increase..I dont want to , but I can...but the expense of those drugs if Brian needs them again?...the neulasta injections are $11,000.00 each.
I've be in this too long to outright panic....but I am getting an upset stomach for sure.

new schedule I will post on the calender...

mass confusion

so..."they" didnt schedule the cat scan but DID schedule the office visits...to review the cat scan...

oops...

getting return phone calls has really slowed up, when I spoke with Dr. Nasta's secretary yesterday, she said they were swamped with patients.

New schedule...
1st week in april....
cat scan
2nd week in april
dr. Shah
Dr. Nasta

further...tba depending on results.

Brian's medicare plan kicks back in 4/1 hence the 2 week delay...we just can't take on those scan bills.

Toe had yet another round of antibiotics....it has now been on and off since Oct that toe remains infected. Brian's immune system is just not kicking in like it should. I think it is a bit worn out and tired...

I looked into a greenhouse set up for growing our own veggies...i know diet helps Brian a lot...I'd like to provide an all organic, but the prices of food...so I am going to try and grow (probably w/o a greenhouse obviously) as much as I can.

this is an awesome idea...I'd love to do this in the back yard..I have a perfect spot....http://www.treehugger.com/green-architecture/build-underground-greenhouse-garden-year-round.html

but no way we could do it for $300.00 even with my frugality and we'd have to rent a digger...but the rocks..my goodness the rock garden I could have :)

so many ideas...I wish I could even just do a few....hard to feel like my whole life of wants and wishes just slips away. I can only imagine how Brian feels...the real nitty gritty stuff he keeps inside...Never has had a chance to have a real life.

well not much to say.....Brian's attempt at handling the doctor information was an epic fail first time around...hopefully he'll call them again tomorrow....but regardless of what his future holds and how many "issues" he has, he has to learn to do this and I figure the regular Dr is a better place to start.