weekend update

In a few short weeks, it will be a year since the nightmare began again. What a year it has been.
We have dealt with what seems to be an unending barrage of misfortune. We have not come out the other side unscathed either. This year has taken some terrible tolls on our relationships with one another and others.
There have been life altering events again....my biggest mistake was in thinking that because we'd been through this before, it would somehow be easier...we'd be prepared, able to anticipate pitfalls..etc...
no, that simply has not been the case.
At the end of all this, we can say that the fantastic part is that Brian's cancer is once again in remission...but our life?...it's looking a little post apocalyptic. It's also hard to figure out where to start the clean up when the little personal bombs are still dropping.
The stress toll has been horrific. The damage done can't be counted and evaluated for many months.
We need the fallout to stop, but it's going to be a slow recovery...there are a lot of pieces to pick up. I don't have the patience for that kind of thing, so that will be a challenge for me.
We have had a lot of surprises along the way this year, some good, some not so good. my biggest disappointment in people I expected that Brian could count on for support, and a few I expected to be able to count on as well. But we also made some new friends and there are those one or two who never let me down. Without them, this would have been even harder.
It is far from over, in fact now more then ever, we have to embrace this as our life's journey. To be ever vigilant and prepared for Brian's cancer to invade once again, but for now we rest up, regroup, refocus and recover. We move to the mop up phase for now.
Brian's port a cath removal had to be rescheduled, I'll post a date when I have one.