ok camera charger found...2 auctions up...link to etsy shop up...shop is empty but I will add some stuff shortly...

a new picture of Brian n Leni on the side, I took down the surgery pic from feb 2010...put something less depressing up for now.

times like these I wish I drank...so much easier to explain my inability to cope that way...r at least a good excuse...but NO not me...

I am a little less depressed today because I took some xanax and a whopping load of caffeine....I have an appointment to see my doctor on wednesday..pretty sure I need a BP medication change and some better antidepressants.
better coping thru pharmaceuticals...and MUSIC!!!



http://youtu.be/N6uEMOeDZsA

crappy weekend

I am having a really hard time this weekend. I am sad, depressed..and I know from last time no one really wants to hear it...but it's a fact that I can't escape...

I just put the xmas stuff back in the closet..I can't even face it right now. I am beginning to wonder if after 12 years of being pounded on I just reached the end point of being able to take it.

damn oven is still broken too

wed night fun

we had a great time last night...we sat and made sandwiches and watched the first season of Big Bang Theory....Scott had never seen it and it was SO funny for him to recognize some of Brian's behaviors in Sheldon. Also funny to listen to the bicker about that...since Brian obviously disagrees.

a nice evening...

Just trying to get organized...not sure why I try cause it seems to be a losing battle, right now it is the paperwork nightmare that keeps me busy.

On an upside of things, we got notification from ssdi that Brian's disability review is finished and approved and he won't have to have another for 3 years. It's not a lot of money but it sure does help. Diet is so very important in him fighting this disease and I don't know about you, but wow has my grocery bill gone up in the last two years.

the dogs chewed the weather gasket off the bottom of the front door...idiots....cute lovable IDIOTS. Brian was playing with them and then got tired and I wasn't watching so they decided to go get into trouble all on their own.

it's frustrating just biding our time until the testing...way too much time to sit and ponder...and not enough time to read thru all the treatment trials.
Since Brian has had a modified CHOP protocol, an ICE protocol and an autologous stem cell transplant, we are up to just few options. Good new options, but ones that are very new and have relatively few results. And maybe he wont have to have treatment cause this is just a big nasty scare, but I don't believe that and I prefer to be prepared.

where is my camera charger ????

argh....can't find the charger cord to my camera...why is it electronics evilly plot against us?....I cant not count the number of times I have gone to use the printer to find it ...unresponsive...

auctions coming soon..plz stand by due to technical difficulties

user error...


watch this amusing video during intermission

http://youtu.be/rXpjX4l0hRg

and this one

http://youtu.be/bSywiwgC4Dk

Sunday

Paperwork is organized....binder set up...reorganized to keep all Brian's test papers/results...12 years ago this month, Brian was first diagnosed with anaplastic large cell lymphoma.
When I think back on it, it's funny the things we remember...we've managed a lot of funny times along with the scary painful ones.
I wish everyone really knew Brian like I do..his sheer will and determination..his compassion...his sense of humor...and his brilliant mind. I also wish I could fight this battle for him.

we worked on some math again today, he still has to take his placement tests for college and he's still determined to go which I think is fantastic...focus on the good :)

Brian ran a bit of a fever today, and was tired, so we grabbed a dvd from redbox "The Raven" and watched that, it was pretty good. I haven't rented a redbox in a while...it was $1.24 instead of a $1.00...I don't know when they changed their pricing and $1.24 seems like a weird increase..why not .25 cents? ah well..I like redbox..cheap and convenient...I still don't know why they don't have them at the hospital...seems to me like that would be brilliant.
 I got all his appointments for his testing and scan scheduled, and am just waiting on the precertification for the PET scan. But We have plenty of time before the scan so I am not concerned.
It looked like snow all day but weather report says it is going to be a bit of ice this am....hope it doesn't prevent Scott from getting home from work today :(

I am going to try and get some ebay stuff done tomorrow and I hope tp get some things in my etsy store too...not feeling the motivation...but the stress was tolerable...Brian did a few miles pacing in a 5 foot radius though....pretty typical for him ...Then he chilled on the bed playing with Leni....she has him wrapped around her tiny little calico paw...thank goodness he has the pets, they bring so much to his life.
We played warcaft for a bit before he went to sleep. I'm going to make sure the firewood is covered over in case we do get ice....I hate wet wood...I have to work way too hard to get the fireplace started. Then I am going to get some sleep for a bit..
I haven't given much though yet on what we're going to do holiday wise...usually we decorate a lot but I am not feeling it right this minute...I guess we'll figure it out on Scott's next day off from work.