thursday oncology visit

It's late and I'm tired, a long day of driving, almost 7 hours in the car, due to traffic and road construction and just the distance....

The visit went well and Brian's labs were good, his white count is a little low again, but nothing too concerning. His platelets dropped a little too, but are still within normal range.

I was concerned when Brian wanted to discuss what treatment options he might have if the PET scans shows lymphoma still...he has not mentioned anything that indicated he feels like the cancer is still in his body, and he is very attuned to his body. Not sure where that is heading....
In any event, the PET scan needs to be scheduled for 4 weeks from now and we will be returning to U of P Oct. 28 for a visit and to discuss the results of that testing.
Brian gets a lab reprieve, they are going to let him go all month without having to have labs done. Thank goodness...his veins are shot and he can use the break.

The brakes on my car went on the way home, we were almost home, we stopped to get some brake fluid, but it didn't help....guess that will be tomorrow's fire to put out. Scott can't catch a break and he's not wearing it well any longer...stress is a bitch master for sure.

Stephanie went hiking on the Appalachia trail today with her new beau..boy is she sore tonight and I'm pretty sure if I looked in her room, I'd find her face down still in her clothes out cold....but she had a great time and said it was beautiful. She needs better footwear though...she turned her ankle and after 2 breaks, I don't want ankle troubles again.

so the doctors are Uof P are very pleased with Brian's recovery so far, and in 5 weeks, we'll know if the cancer is in remission...so all good.

Monday update

Brian's 60 day post stem cell transplant is thursday in Philadelphia. He appears to me to be doing well, but without any pet scan so far, it's hard not to wonder what's going on in his body.

We've all decided as a family to rebuilt the transmission on Steph's car...we've never done it before ,but we can't find a used one from a junkyard and we can't afford to have it done....it will be like game night..only longer...and greaser...and more complicated....Scott didn't want to do it, but we all voted and he got outvoted 3 to one...

I had dinner last week with Stephanie's new paramour....he is nice and has a good sense of humor. It was a nice evening out with Steph...and I didn't embarrass her at all....

saturday update

Brian is excited about the cool weather, the possibility of having enough energy to help decorate for halloween and my promise to get the tank filled so we can grill some dinner.

it looks like it will be a nice weekend here and I am going to just focus on things I can control and not fret about the things I can't....for a day or so...

thursday update

today we all went for a drive to Scranton area.
It was just a short trip of a couple of hours, but we got out, got some fresh air and saw something new for a little bit.
it improved all of our dispositions.

wednesday update

I need a vacation. Even a short one. (hum ...guess it will have to be a pretend vacation...)I have worn myself out and lost perspective. It's a slippery slope that many a caregiver has slid upon.

I am even feeling the angst of anger...towards people...towards circumstances..towards life..it's not good.

I came out of Brian's first bout of cancer angry...seethingly so and it was bad, and compounded by the incessant hounding of insomnia and unpaid everything, I swore the purpose of this blog this time was to help eliminate some of those issues, by both allowing me to complain so I could function in the real world and to allow people a glimpse into our lives so they could see and help where they could. So they would understand how difficult this really is.

I'm not sure I have achieved what I wanted to here. Not if I find myself exactly where I didn't want to be.

something to ponder and reflect upon.

don't be surprised if there are not any more blog updates for the rest of the week. I have things to think about. And not much more to say here right now.

Monday update

Today we had a serious lightning storm, and a strike hit the dog pen in the back....very loud.

Brian and Scott were in the living room and they said it made them jump. I am sure it did.

Brian looks like a little grey chia pet today...lots of little grey hairs sprouting all over his face, and in a few odd patches on his head.

Stephanie went out with a friend and was able to get an enjoyable day off, that was good.
Brian spent some time checking out the language programs my friend Elizabeth sent him. I am thinking that there is little excuse if we don't all learn a bit through them. They are way different then the language programs I studied in school.

Special thanks to Elizabeth for the language programs. Elizabeth has been very helpful through all this.

Sunday Update

today sucked..Scott and I had a fight over money..or the total lack of it...and the piles of things that need to get paid...
it actually spilled out into the front yard...how white trash of us...
now ask me if I care..nope I don't give a fuck...these problems are hard to solve and we don't really have a lot of people standing in line to help.
I am tired, cranky, bitchy and generally worn out.

Brian is also tired, but he's getting a little hair back, in patches on his head and his face..it's grey and looks funny, but we've seen it like that before.

my blood sugar is not where it should be, my stress level is not where it should be and things are very difficult right now...people want what they want when they want it and they really don't give a shit if you bought medication for your son with the money instead of sending it to them.

on the upside, Stephanie is happy in her new job.

oh and my fibromyalgia is flaring and EVERYTHING HURTS...my hands, my hips..the iliac sacral joint...hey no knee pain..just every other joint and tendon in my body...and I never did get a new DR. up here so I would have to schlep almost 2 hours to my doctor to something to deal with this. Really need to get a local doctor....

I am SO cranky and the xanax is NOT helping.....